Oh ever so innoccent
by CelestialEternity
Summary: I was so innoccent and happy. I loved everyone and everything. I was the good little girl who can be looked up to. What happened to me? What changed me? Well, I'll tell you. I became the worst thing possible. I became... a monster...
1. Chapter 1

Amu - 15

Yaya - 14

Ikuto - 17

Utau - 16

Rima - 15

Nagihiko - 15

Kukai - 16

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!

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"Amu-chan! Are you up?"

"Hai~!" I yelled

Today, my class was going to the airport on a 'field trip' to the _Wonderful World Of Disney_ for a whole month. Puh-lease. Which junior would want to go to an amusement park, with people dressed in costumes, made for kids? I know I don't, but my parents said that I should go and have fun. Being the obedient one that I am, I said okay. Ami was complaining that she wanted to go with me. My parents said she could go when she turned my age. She did a pout, but didn't say anything else about it the rest of the week.

Anyway, I'm packed and really excited (don't ask why because even I don't know the answer).

I grabbed my cell, my iPod, and my headphones and put them in my pockets. I put on my jacket and walked over to my closet. Once I had opened up my door, I pulled out my laptop case and put it on my shoulder.

'_I'm going to miss this place…'_

I felt a spec of sadness.

'_Hopefully time passes…'_

I walked out the door, closing my life behind me…

**(^O^) (^O^) (^O^) (^O^) (^O^) (^O^) (^O^) (^O^) **

"Call as often as you can and don't worry about the bill honey."

"Hai mama."

"E-mail us every morning and every night."

"Hai papa."

I was sitting in the back seat of my papa's car while my papa was driving. Ami was asleep in her seat since we left the house at four am. My plane is leaving the airport at five-thirty, and I had to meet up with my teacher and we had to print our tickets and find our gate.

Papa parked the car next to the luggage carts. He got off and walked over to the machine, put in the amount of money needed, and brought one of the carts to the back of the car. I was still in the car when mama and papa opened up the trunk to get my bags out.

"Ami?" I patted her cheek. "Ami, we're at the airport already. Wakie wakie." I spoke softly.

She started opening her eyes slowly. "Onee…chan…?"

"C'mon."

I unbuckled her and opened my door. She crawled on the seats to me and I picked her up and shut the door behind me.

"Ami-chan, you wanna ride on the cart?"

"Papa? Can I carry her instead?"

My parents looked at one another. Papa nodded and started pushing the cart towards the building.

The four of us were quiet, treasuring our last moments together. It was depressing for all of us, but we tried to keep a conversation and joke with one another. Too bad it wasn't enough…

"Amu dear!" I looked to my right and I saw my teacher dressed in jeans, a black sweat-shirt, sneakers, and a baseball cap. She had a huge grin on her face and she was waving at me. "Ohayo, Amu-chan!"

"Ohayo!" I walked up to her with my mom and Ami.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes ma'am!" I smiled

"Good! We're just waiting for Miss Mashiro and then we can get our tickets… unless your dad has them already." She was looking over my head when she had spoken the last part.

"Amu-chan, your ticket is here." He handed me my plane ticket and my passport.

"Arigatou, papa."

"Onee-chan…"

"Hm?" I pulled Ami away from my body and looked at her.

"You're leaving already?"

Looking at her just broke my heart…

She was dressed in a pink sweet Lolita dress with plenty of frills on it. She had her hair down—for a change—and she was wearing a chain with a pink heart that I had given her a couple days ago. She had black, shiny, shoes with thigh high socks that made her look adorable. (Of course I would never admit that to Mama and Papa) She had a little bit of lip gloss on and her cheeks were as pink as always. Her eyes were watery, her voice cracked, and it looked like she was pouting—begging me not to go. How would I ever be able to leave my little sister behind just to enjoy myself while she's so sad? If I did that, I wouldn't be a sister…

_I would be a monster…_

"I'm afraid she's going, Ami-chan…."

I looked up to see my mama's eyes watery and pink-ish and giving a weak smile to her.

"Onee-chan…:

"Time to go Ami-chan…"

I turned and my papa gave a weak smile as well, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

_I wanna stay home… _

"Come, Ami…" and mama took her out of my reaching arms.

_I wanna stay with Ami…_

Mama backed up until she was next to my papa.

"Well, we said our good-byes already, so have a safe trip and come back home to us safely, Amu-chan."

_I wanna stay with mama…_

"Always remember that we love you, Amu-chan. Ja…"

_I wanna stay with papa…_

"We'll be taking our leave now so, call us when you land in America."

They bowed and turned around.

_I wanna stay with my family…_

They walked farther and farther away from me, never looking back.

_I wanna be happy with them…_

"Daisuki, Onee-chan…" Ami mouthed.

The automatic door opened, and then they were gone.

_I wanna be this pure and innocent with them…_

I dropped to the floor, and clutched the floor.

I screamed of never had accepted the trip, crying to be with my Ami.

_But, unfortunately, these things never last…_

I heard voices all around me before the room fell into instant blackness…

Once it was gone, I awoke in a room, I looked out the window, and I knew that I was in California.

_And it's hard to change a third time…_

A voice was to my left and I turned over.

Sitting on my bed, there was a boy my age looking at me.

_I will never be the same again…_

I reached for his head and held it, lowering it to mine…

My lips and tongue moved in rhythm with his…

_No matter how hard people want me to change…_

He was on top of me with my shirt of with an instant, his hand on one mound…

Our lips never parted, as I greedily asked for more; for comfort; for love…

_This is me…_

My lungs begged for air, my body resisted him, but I didn't care…

He pulled down my pants, and I was his…

_And I will never change…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: The horror**

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I awoke with a gasp. My throat was tight and aching. I was covered in sweat, and I could feel the awful rush of the beating of my heart. I sat up. It almost made me faint.

Suddenly, I felt extremely dizzy. The blackness of the room was swaying and twisting, exerting an intense about of pressure into my brain. My instant reaction was to reach up to my head, and I noticed that my hair felt different. There was a throbbing feeling at the back of my head. I was afraid to touch it.

Slowly, I removed my bed sheets and stood. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the figures and shadows within the room. My vision started becoming more and more vivid, and the shadows fell behind figures. At the far end of the room, I could make out a door into another room. Step by step, I walked through the door to find myself in the bathroom. Quickly, I closed the door half ways and turned on the light. Every passing second it took to get to the mirror above the sink, seemed like a millennium light years.

When I looked up, I didn't see what I wanted to see.

_Oh no…_

I almost didn't register what I saw.

_Please don't…_

My hand barely touched the reflecting glass.

_Just don't.._

And a shriek tore its way out of my throat.

The person looking back at me was nothing close as to what I expected to see.

_Wake me from this dream.._

Her hair was discolored, sticking out from every angle. It looked thick and dirty. It looked as if some hair was pulled out. Her face has cuts and bruises all over. Her eyes were red and puffy, and there were dried tear stains on her cheek. Her lower lip was red and puffy. Blood stained the bite marks.

_What happened..?_

Her arm was scratched and had marks up and down. The coloring of her body was almost translucent. Her whole body was bruised, and her torso was bloody. My hand traced my rib cage and, surely enough, the girl flinched. My ribs were bruised as well. Something red oozed out from between my legs. I grazed my opening with my fingers and pain shot throughout me.

"Amu?"

I turned to find Rima standing in the door frame, a look of horror upon her graceful face. Her hair was braided into two braids, and she had on her fluffy yellow and orange pajamas. Her bunny slippers stuck out from under her pants' legs. The only thing missing is the sock monkey she sleeps with.

She took a step towards me.

"Are you okay..?"

She ran to me and gave me a hug

"Oh honey…"

When she pulled back, she grabbed my wrist and led me to the hallway. She started screaming for help and asking for someone to hurry. Quickly enough, the hallway filled up with students and teachers. They all looked at me and gasped. Every question shot at me was "Are you okay?" or "What happened?" or "Did you fall?"

Two teachers ran up to us, asking what happened. When Rima explained that she found me like this in the bathroom, the male picked me up and carried me to one of the rooms, Rima towing behind as the female held the door open for us. In the background, I could hear someone shouting to go back to bed before they receive a complaint and have to be kicked out of the hotel. People mumbled before heading into their rooms, but I noticed that one door remained unopened. It was a door farthest from the one I am now, but the room number was too small to see from here.

**...**

"Get as much sleep as you can dear. We have to get up and get ready in two hours. Okay?" the female teacher beamed.

Her name is Yamamoto, Alyssa. She's the one who cleaned me up, got me dressed and fed and is currently putting me back in bed. Ms. Yamamoto and the male teacher, Mr. Young, asked so many questions that I didn't know how to answer. I kept repeating that I didn't remember anything after I saw my parents at the airport. Mr. Young had little patience and he ended up leaving the room a few times. It didn't help me feel any better from before.

One time he even started yelling, saying that I was just playing games and he didn't have time for us kids. Ms. Yamamoto stepped outside with him for a while and, when they came back in, he was in shock of something she said. He was mostly quiet for the rest of the time.

Rima was sent back to her room to rest up and calm down. The poor thing was shaking all night.

"Okay."

She walked towards the hallway, turned off the lights, and closed the door.

Unfortunate for me, I couldn't sleep those two hours. Every time I closed my eyes, the picture of the girl in the mirror kept popping up. Her broken face. Her broken body. Her body…

**...**

"How you holding up?" she put a strand of blond hair behind her ear as we sat on our seats.

"The same way since you last asked me"

Rima has been asking me the same question all day. Even when we were being lectured to not talk inside the museum. A lot of the teachers kept giving us glares, but it couldn't be helped with Rima. She was the rebel of us all if she was deeply concerned. And guess what, she was concerned.

I looked out to the park across the street only to see a little girl running away, laughing, from and older looking sister. The girl's laugh was so high and sweet; her laugh was so innocent and childish. The older girl was laughing and running with her arms spread. She had a big smile on her face, telling her sister that she was going to "get you".

_Ami.._

"No you aren't!" yelled the little girl

_Where are you_

"Wanna bet?"

"Yes!"

_Do you miss me_

"Okay!" and the older girl ran a bit faster

_Like I miss you..?_

"NO!" the girl screamed as her eyes widened

_Do you even think of me..?_

They both tumbled to the grass, laughing and hugging the other.

_I'm so sorry.._

Before I knew it, I has crossed the park and was walking towards the girl. They both looked up as I reached them. The little girl held my gaze with her fear filled eyes. They were a light brown color. Almost honey-gold. Her hair was a dark blond. Almost like her's. the only difference in this girl and Ami was the color of her skin. This girl's was darker.

She opened her mouth and lifted her hand to me.

I gasped at the one word that came out from her lips with that angelic voice of their's.

"Amu?"

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**You know what I recently found out through a show? A ghost can rape you.. O.o and now I got the chills again… REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I was disappointed in the fact that no one reviewed my last chapter. I guess I lost the readers I once had. But I'm not going to let that stop me. **

**This is dedicated to my dear Alex. He's the one urging me to look for my inspiration once again. He's the one who's encouraging me to continue with my writing. Hope this is to your satisfaction as well to the readers I once (hopefully still!) have. Love ya! And Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 3: Memories**

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"Hey sweetie, the bus arrived"

I rubbed my eyes as I tried to stifle a yawn. The ride back to the hotel proved to be longer than I remembered. It must've just been that we were all tired from the running and talking. Not to mention that some of us still have the case of jet lag.

There were a few students inside the bus, most of them asleep. The teachers were going around, waking everyone up with a smile. They looked tired themselves, but I doubt they would show that to the younger crowd. They have to look out for us after all. Their poise has to remain unchanged and their smiles must always be on their faces. The female teachers anyway. The males usually complain, yell, and always look irritated for some reason. Unless it's one of the younger ones.

"Are you okay to walk to your room? Rima's waiting outside the lobby for you two to walk together." Her smile was sincere and her voice was calming.

She wasn't one of the teachers I've seen around the school. She probably taught in the neighboring city. Or in one of the lower leveled schools.

"Yes ma'am. Goodnight." I returned her smile and hopped off of my seat, bag in hand, and headed out to the parking lot.

"Hey, aren't you cold?"

I turned my head slightly to my right and saw a boy, a little bit older than me, looking my way, walking next to me, with a playful smirk on his face.

A vile spark in his eyes

I returned my gaze to Rima, who was watching with narrowed eyes. I quickened my pace and kept silent.

"Miss pink hair? Aren't you cold?" and, just my luck, he stood in my line of sight.

"I am perfectly okay. Goodbye."

I had managed to get around his side and walk away. Thinking I succeeded, I smiled to myself. Unfortunately, he laughed and followed me.

"What's your name fair lass?"

That got to me. No person—not even family—has ever called me that. I paused and turned to face him. Even if I didn't have any experience with the male species, he was trying hard to get my attention. It was sad to know that he won, but I still had to act as if it didn't.. what do I say now?

"What's it to you?" I admit that I sounded much more rude than I intended it to, but it got the point across.

"Woah. The lass has a bark. Wonder if her bite's as good."

Just like that my face heated up and I saw that little smirk of his return.

Hate this luck of mine..

"Hey, quit bugging my friend or you _will_ regret it." and my life savior Rima pulled me away without a moment's hesitation.

"Thanks." I whispered as we were entering the lobby

"That jerk deserved it."

And just like that, I was wide awake. She giggled and hit the button for the elevator with her hip. She talked the whole ride up and down the hall. The only silence was when we got to my room. We both paused in front of my door, starring at the floor.

"It's probably late and they told us to get up early so, I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah. Goodnight Amu." She turned and walked away.

I felt little bumps form on my arms as I opened the door to my room. Quickly, I turned the lights on and searched the room. Everything seemed to be in place and there didn't seem to be another person in here. Relieved, I turned on the stereo and jumped in the shower. I still had a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach so my shower didn't last long. As I shut the water off, there was a thump on the other side of the door.

"Who's there?"

oOo

"Mr. Yamamoto, the girls should really share rooms. Especially with what happened to Amu last night."

"Alyssa, nothing happened to her."

"Are you kidding me! Did you not see her?"

"Dear, she was upset about leaving her family and so she did that in her sleep. There's nothing else to it."

"But-"

"No one has access to the rooms on this floor except for the employees, and they were all attending the lobby for who knows what reason."

"But that doesn't even make sense. Why did _all_ of them attend that event? There had to be someone not there"

"But there wasn't."

"But she was raped. That's true enough. And the guy who did it beat her to shut her up."

"But there was no guy. And she didn't recall anything."

"Can we just let two or three girls room together? It'll be safer for them and it'll calm my nerves."

"I'll talk to the manager tomorrow morning and see what we can arrange. How's that?"

"Thank you."

oOo

"There we go, just relax baby girl."

"Okay."

His hands traveled from my knees to my hips. From my waist to my shoulders. From my chin to my pink hair. Feeling every part of skin they can. Pulling everything they could grasp. Scratching every unmarked area of flesh. My head felt fuzzy, and I couldn't move all that great. I was helpless. Not like it mattered. Hell, I didn't even know what was going on. Or what I was doing.

Pleasure overwhelmed my senses.

He was thrusting himself into me. Harder each time.

Deeper each time.

Every part of my brain screamed no. Every instinct yelled at me to push away.

To move.

To scream.

_Why_

I suddenly went numb.

My whole body felt as if it was a giant weight. Something way too large and heavy to handle. As if a bolder had landed on me, and I was confused too much to fully assess the situation. To comprehend my surroundings. It was a dream. A dream that scared me to a great extent. A dream that tried to eat me alive. The kind that I wanted so badly to wake from, and I'd cry and shout and plead so that I'd wake. In this case, this wouldn't be called a dream. This would have a deeper, darker meaning. The kind that ran chills up your spine.

My personal nightmare.

_Please! Someone!_

The pace increased.

The sensations grew.

The pain tortured.

I could hear my screams in my head. My mouth too heavy to open. My voice too weak to carry a sound.

Before I knew it, I had lost control to the dark world we call sleep.

oOo

"_Amu Amu! Wake up, wake up!"_

_I stirred and groaned. It was a bright Saturday morning, and the family was going to the park to celebrate Ami's birthday. She's been bouncing around the whole house ever since my parents had told her the plan. She would break out a smile at the oddest times, and she would glow with happiness. She was the happy little girl every parent wanted their kid to be like. Everyone envied my parents. They all said that they should be lucky to have their baby girl so happy all the time and be thankful for it. Of course I saw it as simple._

_Give the child what they want, and they shall be happy._

_The grateful part, I'm not sure. But you can always show them how to be grateful later on. _

"_Amu!"_

_I rubbed my eyes and, right then, I felt something hit my face._

"_WHAT?"_

_I sat up and looked on my lap. There, she threw a stupid doll at me. Seriously? A doll? A pillow, I could live with. Even with a stupid shirt. _

_I wasn't fully awake and my head was starting to pound._

"_Oops. I thought u weren't going to wake up when I threw Susie.." She looked down and put her hands behind her back._

_I leaned over and kissed her cheek. Almost instantly, she gave me one of her big smiles._

"_Happy birthday Ami"_

_She jumped onto my bed and hugged me. "Thanks!" was her reply. I took my chance and started tickling her. She laughed and kicked and screamed and tried to pull away. I ended up giggling myself. How could you not with a little sister like this? By the time there was knock at the door, Ami was practically in my closet and I was on the other side, trying to get the door to open._

"_My, my…" my mama sighed. She looked very young. Her hair was into two pigtails, and she wore make up (for once). She had on a yellow sun dress with pink flowers and white flip flops. She looked amazing compared to all the suits she's always wearing. Not that I don't mind them, but it just gets dull after a while. _

"_Mama!"_

_Ami had given up keeping the door close and ran to our mama, jumping in her arms._

"_What were you two doing? Your room's a mess Amu.."_

_She walked around the room and sighed a few times. Almost instantly, she looked her age. Older in fact. She looked really sad as well. A complete opposite of how she looked just a few minutes ago. Her worry lines deepened then._

"_What will your father say….?"_

"_Right on cue.. Ami, go to your room.."_

_She sent Ami on her way and started tidying up. When the sound of the front door opening and closing was heard, we froze. She looked at me and shook her head. "I'm sorry" she mouthed before she walked out the room, shutting the door behind her. Her footsteps were heard as she walked down the stairs, and her cheerful voice started up again._

"_Welcome home honey~"_

"_Are the girls ready yet mama?"_

"_Yes, but a mess occurred a little bit ago."_

"_Mess?" he repeated. His voice echoed throughout the house as if he yelled it out. The seconds ticked by and there still wasn't any sound coming from downstairs. I was starting to think that I had imagined my papa home. He was probably on his way home right now. Right? I stood up and started making my bed. I was careful enough to not make a noise, just to be safe. Unfortunately, luck didn't seem to be on my side today. Why would it? It isn't my day now is it?_

"_AMU!"_

_I shrunk back against my bed. I could hear my mama shouting to forgive me since it wasn't my fault. Ami and I were playing before he got home. That should have got him; he loves Ami. My mama sounded to be close to tears. Whatever she was going to tell him, it wasn't going to work. She only cried when I wouldn't be saved._

_Papa's steps were coming closer to me, each thump-thump of his shoes connecting with the stairs were thunderous. It was as if he wanted to break the wooden steps. He wanted to dare me to escape. To hide. I tried once. It only made him even more furious. _

_I could hear my mama with Ami. She was asking her to turn on the T.V. all the way up and to not leave her bedroom until she came to get her. She was out of breath and she sounded shaky. She sounded even more vulnerable than I felt. I hated putting mama and Ami through these situations. If I knew how to avoid them, I would. Everything I do seems to just upset my papa. He starts yelling at me out of nowhere and he's smacked me a few times in front of Ami. I couldn't look at her for days after. It hurt too much to see the fear and pity in her small eyes. It hurt to see my fear and hopelessness in her eyes. It hurt to see my own reflection.._

_My door slammed open and the sound of it hitting the wall vibrated throughout the whole room. He stepped forward and locked it shut. The glint in his eyes told me that he had a bad day, and he needed to release his frustration. Fast. He reached for his belt and held it in his hand. He stepped up to me and caressed my face. I could feel myself shaking under his touch. His smile turned mischievous, and he finally opened up his mouth to speak. _

"_It seems to me that you need punishment for your reckless behavior."_

_He turned me so that I was on my hands, bending over my bed. My back was to him, and I squeezed the cloth of the bed sheets under my grip. I bit back the tears that stung my eyes. I couldn't cry. Especially if he hadn't done anything yet. If he saw me, this situation would be worse off. _

_I heard him chuckle before he put his hand on my shoulder. He squeezed it a little before running it down my back._

"_Look at that. Already so obedient. You have the perfect shape and the looks. Your future boyfriend will be pleased to have you." He laughed a big laugh then. One that was cold, clearly not amusing at all. "Too bad no one would think twice to giving you the time of day little girl." And then pain spread everywhere._

_My back burned, even if there was something blocking the contact of his belt to my bare skin. He kept swinging over and over, each time feeling worse than the last. I could feel the burn of wounds being opened. Then I felt more wounds appearing throughout my back. The warmth of my back dripped onto my bed, staining my pink sheets. _

_I hadn't noticed that I started screaming then. He laughed every time I made a noise. He swung down harder whenever I screamed. The sensation was too much for me to bear. _

"_Please…"_

_Papa stopped and turned around. I took a quick glance and I saw Ami outside my door. Her eyes were shiny and unfocused. Her sweet face looked to be in distress. Then my eyes shot up to my papa. His grip on the belt tightened and he burrowed his eyebrows together. I had to scream for Ami to run to get him to leave her alone. Once she ran down the hall, my papa turned to me and swing for my head. He didn't have a good grip, and the metal part of the buckled smashed into my forehead. I don't think it bothered him because he kept using that part to hit me. It wasn't just my back anymore. It was my head and chest and arms. _

_He wanted me dead._

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**This was a sneak peak to Amu's secret life back at home. Hope I didn't lose you. For future reference, the italics refer to her dreams and, or, past. The bold and italics…well, I'll just let you figure that out before the story's completed ;) **

**Please review!(:**


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